Over the past few months, my move to Argentina has invariably surfaced as a topic of conversation at family get-togethers, parties and the like. It doesn't take long before I'm asked, "Why are you moving there?" spoken with a level of disdain usually reserved for those moving somewhere like Bismarck, North Dakota. (My apologies to anyone from Bismarck. I'm sure it's a fine city.) While the response to the move has been generally positive and supportive, I've had to grin and bear both "advice" and criticism from some family members and acquaintances.
I don't expect everyone to agree with or understand my decision to live in Argentina. So you think I'm an idiot for leaving the U.S.? Fine - you're entitled to your opinion, but you should either a) keep it to yourself or b) have a sound argument to back it up. It really gets under my skin when people question my choices or comment negatively when in fact they know very little (or nothing) about Argentina, its culture, the people, or my motivations for moving there. I know I shouldn't let this sort of thing bother me, but I hate having to defend myself and the choices I've made.
It seems to me that if someone barely knows that Argentina is located in the southern hemisphere, thinks that Portuguese is the country's official language, or just met me five minutes beforehand (as in the case of one "advisor" at a party), then that person has little right to launch negative criticism at me. I'm certainly not an expert on Argentina, but I have traveled there four times and lived there for a four-month stretch. I've also had lengthy conversations with my Argentine boyfriend and his family about the realities of living in Argentina. I am not going into this blindly, so why am I being subjected to advice given in such a manner?
I stumbled upon this blog entry from Yanqui Mike, and I feel that his post is the perfect complement to mine. I would love to whip out a copy of his blog post the next time someone starts down that no-good path with me...but I'll refrain. Maybe.
Thank you to all of you who have been supportive and given me true, heartfelt advice. That will always be appreciated and welcomed.
Welcome to...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
It's Time for a Small Rant
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15 comments:
I'm sorry you're feeling down about your family's and acquaintances' comments, Katie. I think moving to a different country is scary for a lot of Americans. My parents don't feel comfortable with it.
People must be afraid of leaving their comfort zones. Others have the mistaken notion that any place in S.A. must be a third world environment.
Maybe introducing people to your blog can open their eyes about the beautiful opportunities of immersion in another country.
Thank you for your kind comment, Still Life. I should emphasize that many people in my life have been wonderfully supportive of me. For example, my dad and stepdad traveled with me to Argentina in October to meet my boyfriend and his family. That gesture meant so much to me, and I really take their opinions (whether positive or negative) to heart because they understand the situation.
I suppose you're right about others being afraid of leaving their comfort zones. If you wouldn't mind sharing, how did you handle criticism from your family?
Move! go! do! be! 90% of advice given has everything to do with the advisor and nothing to do with the advisee.
Loved getting your comment. Loved it so much that I clicked rechazar instead of publicar. Please forgive me, I hab a code. We'll be in touch. And did you know, I'm going to meet Still Life later this week? Just as soon as I get my voice back. Don't know where your town is in Argentina, but if I'm nearby sometime we'll have to have a... whatever the locals have.
As for your family, give them a break. It's their way of saying they're going to miss you and don't want you to go.
and btw, why am I the enemy? Is it because I live in Chile, or because I'm an expat blogger? Thanks for the vote at any rate!
Well, in the spirit of expat friendship, I'll drop by and leave another comment on your blog. That's great that you're going to meet Still Life! If you're ever in Buenos Aires, or better yet, Mar del Plata, we'll have to get together. Pisco sours aren't an option though.
"and btw, why am I the enemy? Is it because I live in Chile, or because I'm an expat blogger?"
What if I answered both!? ;) Thanks for visiting my blog.
Thanks, Katie!
I've thought about printing that 2006 post of mine to handout or, maybe just to wave in the face of some people, too. If it's any consolation, their number decreases over time.
Necochea is such a wonderful place ...your title is perfect: Sunflowers and Seashells. Beautiful.
Like my quote from the Parisian traveler shows, 100 years ago people didn't have too many qualms about emigrating to Argentina. Lots of US citizens were among them.
It's good to be here. You know it, already ...others will notice. After a few years, they'll be asking you for advice rather than expressing such disdain. Still others will never understand ...a failure of imagination as much as anything else.
Of all of the really big countries on Earth, Argentina is still one of the least populated and richest in resources. One would be hard-pressed to select a better one ...or a more welcoming one.
I've never regretted a day here ...and I doubt that you will, either. I feel so much more free here than I ever did in the US. We'll never be able to relate that to the folks back home ...and maybe we shouldn't try.
Drop me a line, stay in touch, I'll be reading you everyday. And thanks for the reminder of why I love this place and people so much.
besos y abrazos,
Mike
Thanks for the words of reassurance, Mike. I'll definitely be in touch through your blog. Maybe I'll make it to one of those Drinking Liberally meetings in Buenos Aires so I can meet you in person. :)
Besos!
I want you to know that I think it's amazing that you are taking this step. So many people are afraid to make any change in life, they just go on exisiting.
I've enjoyed experiencing Argentina thru your eyes and look forward to more!
Thanks for the support, Ginger!
I think the comfort zone theory is a good one. I live the fartherest away from my family of anyone in my family. It was considered crazy when 20 years ago my aunt moved to IN from PA. And then I moved from PA to NC to here in AZ. I have no problem living that far from my family. The weather here is awesome for the most part, the views of the mountains are spectacular and in general there are just good people who live here. And I think those 3 reasons are as good a reason to move and live here as any. I know besides having the boyfriend down there, you are moving to Argentina for similar reasons. That's what is important. I think a good way to respond to the advisors is to say "Oh I didn't realize you had lived in Argentina. How long did you live there?" :)
"I think a good way to respond to the advisors is to say "Oh I didn't realize you had lived in Argentina. How long did you live there?"
You were always one for the snappy comebacks, Amanda. ;)
"I have no problem living that far from my family."
Ah, but that's not the problem. The real question is do they have a problem with you living that far from them? I do agree, though, that the dissenters should be basing their judgments on my reasons for moving instead of whatever preconceived notions they have.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hi Katie,
You asked, "How did you handle criticism from your family?" Good question. :0) My mom and sisters are the people who want us to return to the U.S. the most. In fact, my mom sent me a random e-mail today asking when we're thinking of moving back (even though I am visiting in a month)! I think they would feel more secure knowing we are a quick plane ride away.
I try to tell them that this is a priceless opportunity while we have it. They like experiencing one week vacations in international places, but I think the idea of more than one month terrifies them.
Like Eileen said, I think that less than supportive family and acquaintances are normally speaking from personal issues like fear of losing us or fear of distance.
Just my thoughts though.
Just came across your blog. I think it's great that you're stepping out and experiencing life in another country. I would love to try it myself someday.
Hmmmm... your story sounds quite familiar... oh, I know, it's like mine! Only that I went in the other way, from Necochea, then Buenos Aires and all the way 'up' to Canada.
I won't say anything new to you, and I can't get myself to tell other people what to do with their lives. But I felt the same negativism and resentment that you're encountering these days... it won't change, it's human nature and you will always have to either ignore it or just tell them to go away. I had relatives that gave us their life savings so we could live through the first couple of years, and never asked for anything in return (including the money, which we paid back already), and we had others that could have helped us and chose to look the other way. I will never forget any of the two, but I still moved on.
This is your life and your happiness, Katie, and you have every right to do whatever the hell you want with it. Necochea is calling you? Excellent, just go for it.
I will be here, envying you like crazy. :-)
See you tomorrow!!! 4PM would be OK?
Welcome to Argentina, Katie.
I'm from Pehuajó, an small city in the middle of the Buenos Aires province.
I've noticed about your story by Gabriel, the Waterloo guy, bah, Necochean also...
Hope your life here will be happy.
Bienvenida!
Gracias por la bienvenida, Mike! ¿Sos un pariente o amigo de Gabriel? ¿Conoces Necochea?
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